Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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