butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
