the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
