she looked like the bat from fern gully.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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