I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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