Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
