dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
