In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
