It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
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