yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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