That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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