My pussy is not your playground.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
