Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You pole danced in your parka.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
