i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
