I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
