I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
