Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
