like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
