ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
