everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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