He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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