Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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