dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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