pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
