hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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