I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
