if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
