BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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