I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
