im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
