She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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