sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
