I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
