I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
