problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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