So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
