There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
