If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
