im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Randomize
