He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
