Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
