fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Never underestimate the power of titties
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
