you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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