drinking out of a sandbucket again
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
being pregnant is like rehab
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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