i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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