So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
