Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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