Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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