I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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