ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
